What's Your Name Again

"Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." 

Dr. Seuss

My kids find it quite advantageous; I'll give them some arbitrary consequence and then forget what they were in trouble for 5 minutes later ... CONSEQUENCE OVER! 

Mah Brain

Most people would classify this as "mommy brain," and I would be inclined to agree, if my short memory wasn't accompanied with a plethora of other fun stuff on a day to day basis. My version of "mommy brain" includes the aforementioned memory problems, dizziness, migraines, walking into walls, and disorientation (just to name a few, Lord knows there's several more). 

For Reference ... A Normal Brain 

I couldn't see it after looking at the MRI imaging (and believe me, I scoured that CD over trying to look for my cerebellar tonsils)  but apparently the tech could. I was told in November, 2014 after almost 3 years of coping with my symptoms that I had a Chiari Malformation in my brain. Basically, my brain has moments (a lot of moments) where it does this ... lklk08&790908^%&)*N937408q09e8@^@$(*)*> ... and then I feel hungover for a few days after each episode. 

Parenting with CM

Parenting with Chiari Malformation is challenging on good days, and darn near impossible on the bad ones (thank God for my husband). I've learned several tricks since my symptoms showed up to help me deal with daily life. First and foremost, stare REALLY hard at the road when I'm driving ... if I stare REALLY hard it tends to stay in one place! (You might not want to drive near me most days, ha) Secondly, I have several planners that I work out of to ensure that I don't forget important dates and appointments. Third, I set reminders (much to my childrens' agony) in my phone, to help me remember those pesky consequences that I so easily forget. Forgotten early bedtimes are a thing of the past! Apart from those three things, I make sure to take my migraine meds, I tell my family when the noise level is getting too overwhelming for my poor overdeveloped brain (ha, again!), and I take the time to rest when I need it. 

Chiari Malformation is an obstacle, but it is not something that I have to lay down my life to. I don't have to wave the white flag of surrender to my headaches or memory issues; I can still enjoy time with my kids and drive like a normal person (most of the time). I just find different ways to do it and I'm more intentional about the way I do it than I used to be. 

What obstacles have you overcome in your daily parenting? What cool techniques do you use to help you overcome those obstacles? Tell us about it in the comments below! I look forward to gleaning some encouragement from them. 

I just wanted to leave you with a photo of Mingo Falls in Cherokee, NC. It's one of the many places that I have hiked to since finding out about my Chiari. I didn't hike before ... 

My Pet Shark ... Let's Call Her Sally

30 minutes until the bus comes

6 AM ... My Fitbit jitters my hand.  I drag myself out of bed and stumble into my children's rooms to get them up for school.(Mistake number 1)What I should have done is gotten up at least  20 minutes earlier and made coffee and spent time taming Sally, the Shark ... but instead I breach the threshold of my 8 year old's bedroom.  Thus the battle ensues. 

                                                        

28 minutes until the bus comes  

I flip on the light (mistake number 2). As electricity surges through the wires in his room, anger surges through him. I receive an ear full about turning off the light before I tell the now fully awake "child" to get ready for school. 

18 minutes until the bus comes

 10 minutes have clicked by and I am now returning to "the child's" room to tell him once again to get out of bed and get ready for school. At this point "the child" rolls out of bed grumbling, stomps off to the bathroom, and slams the door. 

THIS is the exact moment that Sally, the Shark makes her appearance...This is also the exact moment that toys miraculously start flying out of "the child's" room, and privileges start disappearing into thin air...Yep Sally, the Shark is here! No, I don't have a personality disorder and I don't need to see a psychiatrist. 

Sally, the Shark

Sally, my pet shark is the metaphorical mass of emotions that I feel when my children's emotions seem to be out of control or bigger than I can handle. Typically, Sally, the Shark doesn't bring anything good on her visits. She never brings souvenirs or tasty treats from the places she's visited; her visits usually result in tantrums and power struggles. 

                                                           

Taming Your Shark

So, how does one avoid power struggles and tantrums, you ask? 

First and foremost, know your Shark and it's limitations!  When you start to feel overwhelmed by your child's "big" emotions, i.e. anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment; recognize that as your untamed Shark. The sooner you recognize your Shark, the sooner you can attain composure. 

Secondly, remember that you are the adult and it is your job to help your child, no matter how disrespected or slighted you feel. It can be difficult when a child is throwing a temper tantrum over something silly, but if you are able to remain in control, the situation can be diffused a lot more quickly than if you let your Shark dictate the situation. 

Finally, and most importantly, remember to do all things in love for your child. This may sound like a simple thing, "love your kid," but I feel it is necessary to say ... it is also necessary to remember it when your child is throwing a temper tantrum.  Children have a limited amount of gray matter, therefore we must re-evaluate our approach when children tantrum or become unruly. 

    

                  7 Minutes until the bus comes

"The child" is now sitting on the couch, backpack in tow, waiting patiently for the bus. I am sitting in my chair, praying for the next 7 minutes to pass, so that I can return to my slumber and continue dreaming about a sandy paradise with no laundry. "The child" looks up at me and says "mommy," he then throws his hand in the air and shows me the "I love you" symbol.   The struggle of the morning instantly fades away and Sally, the Shark  swims back to the sea. With that little hand and "I love you" symbol, I am re-invigorated to start my day. 

0 Minutes until the bus comes

I send my children out the door and start a pot of coffee (and vow to start with coffee the next morning). When I hear the chime of my coffee pot, I pour the rich, black goodness into my Yoda coffee mug with my favorite creamer and sit down to reflect on what I should have done differently. How could I have kept Sally, the Shark in the ocean instead of in my home? 

What are some ways that you avoid tantrums and power struggles in your house? What suggestions do you have for myself and other readers for helping children cope with emotions? Leave your suggestions in the comments below. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!