30 minutes until the bus comes
6 AM ... My Fitbit jitters my hand. I drag myself out of bed and stumble into my children's rooms to get them up for school.(Mistake number 1)What I should have done is gotten up at least 20 minutes earlier and made coffee and spent time taming Sally, the Shark ... but instead I breach the threshold of my 8 year old's bedroom. Thus the battle ensues.
28 minutes until the bus comes
I flip on the light (mistake number 2). As electricity surges through the wires in his room, anger surges through him. I receive an ear full about turning off the light before I tell the now fully awake "child" to get ready for school.
18 minutes until the bus comes
10 minutes have clicked by and I am now returning to "the child's" room to tell him once again to get out of bed and get ready for school. At this point "the child" rolls out of bed grumbling, stomps off to the bathroom, and slams the door.
THIS is the exact moment that Sally, the Shark makes her appearance...This is also the exact moment that toys miraculously start flying out of "the child's" room, and privileges start disappearing into thin air...Yep Sally, the Shark is here! No, I don't have a personality disorder and I don't need to see a psychiatrist.
Sally, the Shark
Sally, my pet shark is the metaphorical mass of emotions that I feel when my children's emotions seem to be out of control or bigger than I can handle. Typically, Sally, the Shark doesn't bring anything good on her visits. She never brings souvenirs or tasty treats from the places she's visited; her visits usually result in tantrums and power struggles.
Taming Your Shark
So, how does one avoid power struggles and tantrums, you ask?
First and foremost, know your Shark and it's limitations! When you start to feel overwhelmed by your child's "big" emotions, i.e. anger, frustration, sadness, disappointment; recognize that as your untamed Shark. The sooner you recognize your Shark, the sooner you can attain composure.
Secondly, remember that you are the adult and it is your job to help your child, no matter how disrespected or slighted you feel. It can be difficult when a child is throwing a temper tantrum over something silly, but if you are able to remain in control, the situation can be diffused a lot more quickly than if you let your Shark dictate the situation.
Finally, and most importantly, remember to do all things in love for your child. This may sound like a simple thing, "love your kid," but I feel it is necessary to say ... it is also necessary to remember it when your child is throwing a temper tantrum. Children have a limited amount of gray matter, therefore we must re-evaluate our approach when children tantrum or become unruly.
7 Minutes until the bus comes
"The child" is now sitting on the couch, backpack in tow, waiting patiently for the bus. I am sitting in my chair, praying for the next 7 minutes to pass, so that I can return to my slumber and continue dreaming about a sandy paradise with no laundry. "The child" looks up at me and says "mommy," he then throws his hand in the air and shows me the "I love you" symbol. The struggle of the morning instantly fades away and Sally, the Shark swims back to the sea. With that little hand and "I love you" symbol, I am re-invigorated to start my day.
0 Minutes until the bus comes
I send my children out the door and start a pot of coffee (and vow to start with coffee the next morning). When I hear the chime of my coffee pot, I pour the rich, black goodness into my Yoda coffee mug with my favorite creamer and sit down to reflect on what I should have done differently. How could I have kept Sally, the Shark in the ocean instead of in my home?
What are some ways that you avoid tantrums and power struggles in your house? What suggestions do you have for myself and other readers for helping children cope with emotions? Leave your suggestions in the comments below. I look forward to hearing what you have to say!
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