Expectations

I Would Love To Be Asleep Right Now! 

Right now in Western North Carolina it is 5:30 A.M.

 I have been awake since 2:30 A.M.

My house is quiet, except for the occasional popping and cracking that houses usually make when they are settling or the noise the ac makes when it comes on.

My brain won't shut off and my body has decided to have a "moment" so I am left to deal with 6 children in a couple of hours on precious little sleep (blog post to follow, I'm sure). I've been strolling through Facebook and Pinterest trying to make myself sleepy but none of that is working right now ...

I am quite the planner, having 6 children in my home requires organization and finesse. I typically plan an event at least a month in advance and begin planning holiday events several months in advance.

While on Pinterest, I was looking through the Holidays and Events sections trying to get ideas for the upcoming holiday season (yes, I am 'that' mom).

Fall is my favorite time of year ( I discussed my adoration for this season here in my last post). During my time of misery and trolling of the interwebs I sought out new things for my family to do this Fall that we didn't do last year.

Last Year

While I was reading a Fall Bucket List I was reminded of the transition my family was experiencing last year. The excitement and anticipation that we all felt ... and the expectations that we all had for upcoming events. 

During this time last year, my husband and I were visiting with the children who would become our son and daughter. They didn't know the reason for their increased time with us until almost three months later when we asked them in front of our family, their foster mom and G.A.L. if we could be their forever family. 

Expectations

When you find out you're going to have kids, biologically or by adoption, you begin to have a lot of expectations about what the future holds for your family. In your dreams, trips to the pumpkin patch go perfectly, no one gets an attitude or says their bored and everyone comes home with the perfect pumpkin. On their best days no one gets in trouble and everyone does what you say ... and then you wake up and realize that NyQuil may relieve your Cold symptoms but it gives you delusional dreams. 

My expectations were a little too unrealistic to be met. It takes time for a family unit to be created, for trust to be built, and for a bond to be knitted. 

We had taken the kids to a pumpkin patch on a Sunday afternoon. I spent the entire morning talking about how great the place was going to be (which it was great!) and getting the kids pumped for our adventure at the pumpkin patch ... but the kids had expectations and the pumpkin patch was smaller and not as exciting as they expected (you see how this works?). 

My "family fun day" was about to turn into a "this is boring, can we go home" day and we weren't even out of the car yet. 

I was literally sitting in the parking lot of the pumpkin patch with my husband asking me what we were going to do when I realized what I needed to. 

What I Needed To Do

In that moment I realized that I could either let their attitudes ruin the entire day or I could choose to change my expectations for my children's behavior and enjoy our time together as a family. 

I chose the latter. 

It wasn't easy. It would have been easy to give in to my kids bad attitudes. It would have been easy to pack them all up and go home. 

Christ calls us to love in the hard times and being a parent is definitely loving during the hard times. It's teaching your kids to do the things they don't want to do because they might actually enjoy it (which they did) or learn something from it. 

I know I learned something from my children. Sometimes ( most of the time), I might be the one who needs to change to meet them where they are. 

My Encouragement to You

I encourage you, dear reader, to choose love with your children, even when choosing love is the hardest thing to do. I encourage you not to be be discouraged when your children don't get as excited as you are about family events. One day they will understand the value of your efforts and they will have the memory of the hard work and dedication that you put into their childhood. 

We came home that day and carved all the pumpkins you see in the picture above. We had a blast cleaning out the pumpkin guts and giving them faces. 

Your Turn 

What parenting tips or encouragement do you have for others who may struggle with getting their children to be involved with family events? Do you involve your kids in the planning process of family events? In what ways have you changed your expectations to make family outings more enjoyable? Did you find this encouraging? Leave your comments/suggestions below. Be sure to like/share/follow if you find this blog worth your time. Thank you! 

Filling My Cup

Can This Summer Just Be Over Already?

This week has been really hard. The kids are getting restless. It's the end of summer and they are tired of sitting in the house all day ... heck they are tired of doing anything that requires a parent be present. It's been a REALLY tough week. We've tried the entertainment route with a LOTR marathon but that has been for naught.

Parenting takes a lot out you, more than you realize sometimes. When I first became a parent I felt guilty for leaving to go to the grocery store or the post office or to take a bath. Now I understand the value of taking time to fill my cup, especially after week's like this. I used to get my nails or hair done or go shopping when I wanted to fill my cup but today that time took a different form.

Fall Came Early

 I have a slight (major) obsession with all things Fall. It's my favorite time of year. The best family events can be done during this season (pumpkin patch, football games, pumpkin carving, baking, Russian Tea drinking, etc) and it has the absolute best weather. (Please feel free to argue for any other season in the comments below, I promise to keep an open mind) Today I just couldn't wait any longer, I brought out my crock-pots and gave into the obsession during quiet time. 

I scoured Pinterest for the perfect recipes, I didn't intend to replicate them, I just wanted to get ideas from them. Once I found the recipes I gathered the ingredients. Then, I set to work in the kitchen. I made a recipe of my own for Apple Butter, Pumpkin Butter and I made some BBQ sauce from a recipe I found online. I must say, I am very proud of my Apple and Pumpkin Butters! 

Most of all, I spent time in the kitchen doing something I really enjoy and in the process I filled my cup after a really difficult week. There was no one in the kitchen but me. I was able to take my time, play with spices, measurements, and make it my own. 

I said I used to feel guilty for leaving, I don't anymore. I understand now that in order to be the best parent possible I need time to play in the kitchen, go shopping or get my nails done to fill my cup so that I can better parent them. I can't give grace or mercy when my grace and mercy are all tapped out, they need to be refilled. 

So I'm sitting here watching The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers with my children waiting for my Apple Butter to finish with a full cup ready for what the new week brings. 

How do you fill your cup back up when it's contents have been diminished? Do you see the value of having personal time away from your kids? Let us know how you deal with your personal care in the comments below, I look forward to reading them.